A Wedding DJ’s Thoughts on Song Requests

As a wedding DJ with over 35 years of experience, one thing I’ve learned is that song requests are a major topic of conversation for nearly every couple I work with. Some couples are all for it—they love when their guests engage and get involved in the music. Others? Not so much. They have a specific vision for their wedding playlist, and they don’t want it altered by spontaneous requests.

Whether you’re a couple planning your big day or a DJ looking to navigate the delicate balance between client expectations and guest requests, understanding the dynamics of song requests at weddings is key.

Let’s break down the pros and cons of allowing song requests at a wedding, based on my experience of DJing close to three thousand weddings and events.

Why Some Couples Love Song Requests at Their Wedding

During the pre-wedding consultations, one of the first questions I ask couples is, “How do you feel about your guests making song requests?” Surprisingly, I get a variety of answers. Some couples are totally cool with it, while others are dead set against it.

1. They Want Everyone to Have Fun

For many couples, the goal is simple: throw an unforgettable party where every guest—young and old—feels included. They aren’t overly concerned about the specifics of what songs get played, as long as everyone is up and dancing.

• Inclusivity is Key: These couples see song requests as a way to create an inclusive atmosphere. When guests feel like they have a say in the music, they are more likely to hit the dance floor and stay there.
• Fun Over Perfection: Couples who embrace requests often aren’t picky about whether a song is considered “cool” or “cheesy.” To them, what matters is that people are having a good time, whether it’s through dancing to a modern hit or an old-school throwback.

2. They Aren’t Music Fanatics

Some couples, while they enjoy music, don’t have strong opinions about it. For them, the wedding music is just another aspect of the celebration, not something they’re heavily invested in.

• Casual Approach: These couples tend to listen to music casually, and since they don’t have specific preferences, they’re more open to allowing their guests to make song requests. They trust their DJ and guests to choose songs that will keep the energy going.

Why Some Couples Don’t Want Song Requests at Their Wedding

On the flip side, many couples I work with are not fans of guest requests. When I ask them about it during our consultation, some are very clear: “No requests, please.” They want to ensure the music reflects their personal tastes and the vibe they’ve envisioned for their wedding.

1. They Want Complete Control Over the Playlist

Some couples are incredibly passionate about their wedding playlist. For them, music is a core part of their identity, and they want their special day to reflect their tastes.

• Personalized Playlist: These couples often spend hours curating their playlists, selecting songs that are meaningful to them and carefully crafting the vibe they want for each part of the evening. Whether it’s a slow jam during dinner or a high-energy dance set, they want to be in charge.
• The Dreaded “Do-Not-Play List”: Almost every couple I work with provides me with a “do-not-play” list. These lists can include anything from overplayed wedding classics (sorry, “Macarena”) to genres they simply don’t enjoy. They want to make sure their carefully selected atmosphere isn’t interrupted by a song they don’t like.

2. They Don’t Share the Same Taste as Their Guests

Often, the divide between a couple’s musical preferences and their guests’ tastes comes down to generational differences. This is especially common when couples prefer more contemporary music, while older guests (often parents or grandparents) are expecting classics from their youth.

• Generational Gaps: Some couples prefer modern hits, while their guests—especially older family members—may request oldies or traditional wedding songs. To strike a balance, some couples choose to allot a small portion of the night for older tracks before transitioning to their preferred genres.
• Avoiding Awkward Moments: By banning requests, couples can avoid potential conflicts, like Aunt Sue asking for a country song at an EDM-heavy dance party or an old college friend demanding obscure indie tracks. And then there is that parent of the only child at the event (usually the flower girl) continually requesting songs for their little one. Ohg…

How Most Couples Handle Song Requests: A Balanced Approach

For most weddings, couples don’t take an all-or-nothing stance on song requests. Instead, they rely on their DJ’s professional judgment to decide whether to honor a request or not. This middle-ground strategy allows for some guest interaction while still maintaining the couple’s vision for the night.

1. The DJ Uses Their Judgment

Many couples provide me with a detailed list of songs they love, along with specific genres or vibes they want throughout the night. When a guest approaches me with a request, I use that list to determine whether the song fits within the couple’s vision.

• On-Brand Requests: If the request matches the couple’s style or fits the mood they want to create, I’ll play it. This method allows guests to participate while ensuring that the overall playlist stays in line with the couple’s preferences.
• Respecting the “No-Go” List: If the request is something the couple specifically asked me to avoid (or it’s just not in their vibe), I politely decline and move on to another request or stick to the pre-planned list.

2. No Requests Allowed

For some couples, the best way to maintain control is to eliminate requests altogether. Often, these are music aficionados who are passionate about creating a specific soundscape for their wedding.

• Why No Requests?: These couples are often very particular about the flow and energy of their wedding music. They’ve spent time carefully selecting every song, and they don’t want that disrupted by unexpected requests.
• Trusting Their DJ: Many of these couples choose DJs like me because they know I share their love for music. They trust that I’ll deliver a setlist that matches their style, without needing input from the guests.

3. Taking All Song Requests

While this approach is less common, there are couples who are very laid-back and encourage me to take every request I get. They’re more concerned with keeping their guests happy and dancing than curating a specific playlist.

• Playing to the Crowd: These couples want their DJ to prioritize the guests’ enjoyment. As long as people are dancing, they’re happy with the music. This can make for a fun, unpredictable party where anything from the “YMCA” to the latest top-40 hit might get played.

Which Strategy Is Best?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this. It really comes down to the couple, their guests, and the type of wedding they’re envisioning.

1. Know Your Guests

If your guests are party animals and big music lovers, you might want to consider taking more requests. It can help keep them engaged and make the dance floor feel more dynamic. On the other hand, if you’re worried about awkward or inappropriate song choices, it might be best to let your DJ filter out the requests or skip them altogether.

2. Provide Your DJ with Guidance

The best way to handle song requests is to give your DJ a list of songs or genres you love, along with a “do-not-play” list. This allows your DJ to navigate requests with your preferences in mind.

3. Consider Your Guest Demographics

If you’ve got a large number of older guests, you might want to make room for some classic tunes to keep them happy. If the crowd is mostly younger, you can probably stick to modern hits without worrying too much about leaving anyone out.

Why Do People Make Song Requests?

After DJing thousands of weddings and events, I’ve seen a wide variety of guest personalities when it comes to making song requests. Here are the three types I’ve encountered most often:

1. The Random Requester

This is the guest who suddenly thinks of a song they love and comes over to request it. They aren’t too concerned about whether it fits with the vibe or not, and if you can’t play it, they usually don’t mind. They’ll simply head back to the dance floor and keep enjoying the night.

2. The Wannabe DJ

These guests are more invested in curating the playlist. They’ll make multiple requests throughout the night, often thinking they’re helping improve the party. These folks genuinely love music and may even dream of being DJs themselves. They’ll request a song, and if it’s played, they’ll be back with another suggestion, eager to keep shaping the vibe.

3. The Insider

My favorite type of requester, the insider knows the couple well and understands what songs will get the best reaction from the crowd. These requests are usually gold—they suggest songs that have a proven track record of getting people moving, and their requests can turn a good night into a great one.

Final Thoughts: Talk It Over with Your DJ

Ultimately, how you handle song requests is a personal decision. The key is to communicate your preferences clearly to your DJ. An experienced DJ will know how to balance guest requests with your vision for the night, ensuring that everyone has a great time.

If you have strong opinions about music, let your DJ know. If you’re more laid-back and want to let the party flow naturally, that’s fine too. The most important thing is that your wedding feels like your wedding—whether that means letting your guests pick the tunes or sticking to a carefully curated playlist.

Have a conversation with your DJ, trust their experience, and most importantly—enjoy your special day

By DJ Justin Warwick of DJ Enterprises Mobile Disc Jockey, aka DJ Warwick

Justin Warwick. The dynamic force behind DJ Enterprises Mobile Disc Jockey, has been a trailblazer in professional DJ entertainment since 1989. Serving the Central Coast Monterey Bay area and beyond. Justin specializes in creating unforgettable experiences for weddings, corporate events, New Years, anniversaries, birthdays, and a variety of social events. Known for his ability to bring joy, fun, excitement, and energy to every event. Justin’s expertise ensures a memorable experience for you and your guests. One of Justin’s standout contributions to the wedding world is the “Table Dash game,” a high–energy reception activity he created in the early–2000s.

With thousands of successful events under his belt, Justin Warwick is renowned for his exceptional DJ and MC skills. He has a unique ability to read the crowd and tailor the music to fit the atmosphere perfectly. Whether it’s an intimate gathering or a grand celebration. Justin’s extensive music knowledge and state-of-the-art equipment guarantee a seamless and enjoyable event.

For those planning an event in the Carmel / Pebble Beach / Monterey Bay area. The Monterey Wedding DJ Blog offers a wealth of tips and ideas. It’s the most-read wedding DJ blog in California. Providing insights into crafting the perfect playlist, venues, and staying updated on the latest trends in wedding and event planning.

“I’d love the opportunity to be your Wedding or Party DJ and provide Photo Booth services.” Reach out to me at [email protected] or visit (https://djwarwick.com) for more information. I look forward to hearing from you!

Explore the website for more details on services, pricing, and client testimonials to see why DJ Justin Warwick is the best choice for your next event. https://djwarwick.com

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