The 10 Most Common Wedding Music Mistakes
The 10 Most Common Wedding Music Mistakes (and How to Avoid Them)
Music is a critical component of every successful wedding, setting the tone for each part of the day and ensuring your guests have a memorable time. Whether you’re aiming for a lively dance party, an elegant ambiance, or a mix of both, getting the music right is key. As a professional wedding DJ with over 35 years of experience, I’ve seen firsthand how the wrong choices can disrupt the flow of a wedding—and how the right ones can elevate it. Below, I’ve compiled the most common wedding music mistakes couples make and how to avoid them, ensuring your big day is filled with the perfect soundtrack.
#1 Wedding Music Mistake –Not Taking Advantage of Cocktail Hour and Dinner Music
Many couples overlook the opportunity that cocktail hour and dinner music provide. These parts of the evening can be a great time to share songs that might not be dance floor-friendly but still reflect your personal taste. The music selections for both should ebb and flow blending in upbeat fun tracts with more romantic choices. Think of the cocktail and dinner playlists as two separate events that complement each other.
Mistake: Playing generic background music that doesn’t fit your vibe, or picking songs more appropriate for a backyard beer party.
Solution: Use this time to play less obvious tracks that you love but guests might not dance to. It warms your guests up for the night ahead and keeps the atmosphere lively without the pressure to dance. Do you go to concerts or shows with your friends and family members? Including a few songs from those events into the mix will invoke memories of happy times you’ve spent together.
2. Only Playing Music You Like
Of course, your wedding music should reflect your taste, but it’s important to remember that you want your guests to enjoy themselves as well. People tend to dance to songs they know and love—often those they heard in high school, college, or even the last wedding they attended. Having your DJ play only the songs you personally listen to is not a recipe for a packed dance floor.
Mistake: Choosing obscure or unfamiliar music because it’s what you personally love.
Solution: Dedicate part of your dance set to songs that will appeal to a broad range of guests. Start with hits that older guests will recognize, then transition to newer songs for friends, and save your personal favorites for the end of the night. This way, you can balance your tastes with crowd-pleasers.
3. Including Song Requests on RSVP Cards
It’s become trendy to ask for song requests on wedding RSVPs, and while this can be fun, it can also backfire if you’re particular about the music at your wedding. And just a side note… I don’t really understand how this became a thing. Usually everyone requests to hear their own wedding first dance song, resulting in dozens of slow song requests. In a two hour dance block I will typically play one, maybe two slow songs, unless it’s an older crowd.
Mistake: Asking for song requests but being disappointed by guests’ selections.
Solution: If you’re flexible and open to including a variety of songs, go ahead! Guests love hearing their requests played. But if you’re more selective about the music, skip this option to avoid awkward situations where guests expect their song to be played and it never is.
4. Being Lazy About Prelude, Cocktail Hour, and Dinner Music
Traditionally, many couples default to classical music for the prelude (before the ceremony), or jazz and crooners like Frank Sinatra during cocktail hour. While there’s nothing wrong with this, it may not fit your personal style. Remember, the music you select should be a reflection of you and your guests.
Mistake: Choosing traditional music simply because you don’t know what else to select.
Solution: Tailor these sections to your preferences. If you don’t enjoy classical or jazz, explore genres you like but don’t plan to include in the dancing portion. This is a great time for indie, acoustic, or instrumental versions of modern hits. Your DJ should have some great playlists for you to explore, don’t be shy about asking for help.
5. Forcing Obscure Versions of Popular Songs
Many couples want their wedding to feel unique, and one way they try to achieve this is by using obscure or alternative versions of popular songs. However, this can sometimes alienate your guests, or just fall flat as a vibe. I’ve said it many times, people like to hear music they are familiar with. I have had countless wedding guests come up to me and say ” I really like the song you just played, can you play the original next”?
Mistake: Choosing too many obscure or niche songs for key moments, such as the cocktail and dinner hours, your first dance or cake cutting, which might confuse or disengage guests.
Solution: A unique twist is fine, but balance it with familiar tunes that people can connect to. It’s important not to sacrifice the energy of your event for the sake of being different. Trust your DJ to help balance your vision with what will resonate with your guests.
6. Not Playing the Music You Like
Some couples shy away from including their favorite genres because they worry it won’t appeal to the crowd, especially if it’s niche or explicit.
Mistake: Omitting your favorite music entirely to cater to everyone else’s taste.
Solution: Don’t be afraid to include some of your personal favorites. If you love explicit rap or EDM, discuss with your DJ how to work it into the night, perhaps toward the end when the crowd has thinned out and grandma has gone home. This is your day, so make sure some of the music reflects your tastes. I’ve had some of my classiest weddings wrap up with a little Bay Area Hip-hop like E-40, or Mac Dre.
7. Only Picking Songs with “Wedding” Lyrics
There’s a misconception that wedding music should be filled strictly with love songs or tunes about happy relationships. While it’s natural to want some romantic music, limiting yourself to songs with only “wedding-appropriate” lyrics is unnecessary.
Mistake: Believing that only love songs belong at a wedding.
Solution: Don’t restrict your playlist based on lyrics. Choose music you and your guests will enjoy, whether it’s about love, heartbreak, or something entirely different. As long as the music is fun and danceable, it will work.
8. Not Dancing Yourself
Your guests take cues from you. If you’re on the dance floor, they will be too. But if you spend the evening mingling in other areas, like the bar, your guests are likely to follow suit.
Mistake: Expecting your guests to dance while you’re off doing something else.
Solution: Lead by example. Get out on the dance floor early and often. If you want a party vibe, your energy will inspire your guests to join in and keep the dance floor packed. If your not a dancer, make sure you at least stay around the dance floor.
9. Seating Hard of Hearing Guests in Front of the Speakers
During your seating arrangements, be mindful of where your DJ’s speakers will be set up. Guests who are sensitive to loud noise should not be seated in front of them, as this can make for an uncomfortable dining experience.
Mistake: Placing older or hard of hearing guests directly in front of the speakers.
Solution: Strategically seat those guests in quieter areas and put your more energetic, dance-happy friends closer to the dance floor. This will keep everyone happy and comfortable during dinner and dancing.
10. Overwhelming your DJ with too many “must play” lists
Occasionally I will have a couple provide me with an overwhelming amount of “must plays” on their playlists. What do I mean by that?
Recently a couple I was working with sent in their planners that I provided them with to aid in the planning process, along with several playlists they put together on Spotify. And that’s pretty typical. What wasn’t typical was that their playlists were about 18 hours of music for a five-hour event. Then, the week before the wedding they sent over roughly another 10 hours of must plays… Really? Twenty-eight hours of must plays? When I asked them if they could boil it down a bit their response was “we really like all of those songs.” So what do I do, pick out the songs that I know get a good response from most crowds, and potentially missing all of the couple’s true favorites. The wedding was pretty amazing by the way, and the dance floor was packed all night!
Mistake: Providing your DJ with way too many “most plays” on your playlists.
Solution: Don’t overdo it with your playlists, and give your DJ a clear concept of your music likes and dislikes. Give your DJ enough leeway that they can work in those crowd pleasing tracks that are out of your listening spectrum.
Wedding Music Mistakes -My Final Thoughts
Planning your wedding music carefully can make all the difference in how much fun you—and your guests—have on your big day. Avoiding these common wedding music mistakes ensures your event flows smoothly, whether you’re aiming for an elegant dinner or a raucous dance party. The right balance of music that reflects your personal taste and appeals to your guests is key to making your wedding unforgettable.
Whether you’re hosting a backyard bash, an estate wedding, destination wedding or a beachfront celebration, keeping these tips in mind will make sure your music is just as magical as the rest of your day. Happy planning!
By DJ Justin Warwick of DJ Enterprises Mobile Disc Jockey, aka DJ Warwick
Justin Warwick. The dynamic force behind DJ Enterprises Mobile Disc Jockey, has been a trailblazer in professional DJ entertainment since 1989. Serving the Monterey Bay area and beyond. Justin specializes in creating unforgettable experiences for weddings, corporate events, New Years, anniversaries, birthdays, and a variety of social events. Known for his ability to bring joy, fun, excitement, and energy to every event. Justin’s expertise ensures a memorable experience for you and your guests.
With thousands of successful events under his belt, Justin Warwick is renowned for his exceptional DJ and MC skills. He has a unique ability to read the crowd and tailor the music to fit the atmosphere perfectly. Whether it’s an intimate gathering or a grand celebration. Justin’s extensive music knowledge and state-of-the-art equipment guarantee a seamless and enjoyable event.
For those planning an event in the Carmel / Monterey Bay area. The Monterey Wedding DJ Blog offers a wealth of tips and ideas. It’s the most-read wedding DJ blog in California. Providing insights into crafting the perfect playlist, venues, and staying updated on the latest trends in wedding and event planning.
I’d love the opportunity to be your Wedding or Party DJ and provide Photo Booth services. Reach out to me at [email protected] or visit (https://djwarwick.com) for more information. I look forward to hearing from you!
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